


So Very Hard

by Yaoisweeeetyaoi



Series: So Very Hard [1]
Category: Watch Dogs (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Asperger Syndrome, Fluff, Josh/wrench, M/M, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 14:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19947670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaoisweeeetyaoi/pseuds/Yaoisweeeetyaoi
Summary: Josh is dealing with his emotions,





	So Very Hard

**Author's Note:**

> So... this is all from Josh's pov.. it does have parts of the game, and I just sort of decided to change things this is only pt 1 of a little series a friend and myself are working on I hope you all enjoy ^^ 
> 
> Also the title of this part, and the Series name is from the song in game So very Hard by Tower of power ♡ great song super glad this game used it

Wrench… what can I say about him other than he is a very destructive person… and I’m not saying that lightly… If something doesn’t go his way he takes a sledge hammer to it and creates a bigger mess than he had started with. Like right now, he’s been at it with the sledge hammer and toasters for hours. But I don’t say anything… that’s his own business, not mine. 

  
  


“You know Josh,” He pants as he walks over to me, and looks over my shoulder, “You can say like one or two things.”

  
  


I just stare at the screen of my laptop, catching his reflection in the screen. “One or two things,” I respond, only to see his X's on his mask grow brighter, then shut off. “Is that good?” 

  
  


“Yeah, sure… ugh, why do you need to be so quiet, it’s no fun working with you,” Wrench whines. 

  
  


Someone needs to watch the boards, and that’s me… I don’t see anything off, or messed up, so maybe I should enlighten him. But how… seems like we don’t have much in common, other than we are in dedsec.. Maybe music, I like some things he plays on the radio… 

  
  


“Sorry,” I finally speak up turning away from the screen,” I just want to make sure the code is all okay.” 

  
  


“You know it is, you’re on the job, and I know for a fact you would catch it.” 

  
  


“What are you doing?” I ask seeing the corpses of about twenty toasters. 

  
  


“I need a chip, something to help us fuck with Huam, but these sons of bitches are useless.”

  
  


“Isn’t it a waste of money just to destroy them?”

  
  


His mask gave the smiley eye emoji, “Who said I paid for them~?” 

  
  


“So you stole them?”

  
  


“Hey, stole is such a harsh word, I liberated them from their slave ships~” 

  
  


“Slave….” I repeat, the concept of Wrench on a pirate ship comes to my mind, swinging from ship to ship taking toasters. My mind pictures a Captain Jack Sparrow with an LED spikey mask…. I smile a bit, and gave a chuckle, “Ok Jack Wrench,” I mumbled to myself than anything.

  
  


“Eh, Captain Jack Wrench,” he pushes two fingers to my head.

  
  


I’ve gotten better, with people touching me…. When I first joined and Sitara patted my back I slapped her hand away, but now I’m okay with it. But I don’t get why I feel... good when Wrench touches me… My pulse raises, and I feel light headed. .sometimes I forget to breathe, and it isn’t till my lungs hurt that I finally inhale. 

  
  


I wonder, I wonder why I feel like this only around him… maybe I should talk to Sitara, she would know…. My attention is taken from my thoughts, to the sound of the garage opening. And Marcus comes in going straight to Wrench, as he smashes another toaster open. 

  
  


Why is it when Marcus is around, I feel… sad… I don’t understand it. I don’t feel sad when Sitara and Wrench are together, or Horatio and Wrench are together…. But ever since Marcus has joined, it’s like, Wrench has his full attention…. I look over at them, and see Wrench look over at me briefly, and I feel my face burn before I look away. 

  
  


Wrench would want Marcus, he’s not baggage… The world would have you believe that nothing is wrong with me, but I know there is… ‘Oh just because you’re different the world doesn’t see that’ but they do… that’s why CtOS dinged me… I look back at the code, my only solace from things I can’t understand… if anything, its predictable, steady, and it eases my mind to a calm state.

  
  


I hear the garage open up again, and hear Wrench's boots make their way back to me, which makes me turn to see him holding his laptop in his arms, like a schoolgirl holding her books. 

  
  


“Where is Marcus?” I asked. 

  
  


“I sent him to get me something useful… You wanna walk back to the hackerspace? I’m hungry as hell.” 

  
  


“Sure,” I close my own and stand up tucking it under my arm. 

  
  


We started our walk, and Wrench, is quite, and I don’t like it at all. I’m not used to him being this quiet, let alone his default X's on his mask are off… I don’t like it… I can't read him at all, and it's driving me crazy. 

“Josh, you okay?” 

  
  


“Yes,” I exhale slowly.

  
  


Why isn’t his mask on?! 

  
  


“Okay, how about being honest,” Wrench looks at me, well I assume he did, because his head is turned to me. 

  
  


“…. Your mask….”

  
  


“Hm? What about it?”

  
  


“Turn it on please,” 

  
  


“Oh, um okay,” He let’s the X's come on, “Is that all?”

  
  


I can’t read your face when you wear that, so that’s all I have to go on, I feel my anxiety start to calm. 

  
  


“Ah, okay, sorry about that.” 

  
  


We get inside, and smell pizza down the stairs. When we get down there Sitara and Horatio are sitting on the couch eating away. 

  
  


“Hey you two grab a slice,” Sitara calls out to us as Wrench goes right over grabbing a few slices, “Shit, Marcus is on his way back, I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” He ran out from the space. 

  
  


I grab myself a slice and sit down in my space and open my laptop, only to see Sitara in the reflection of my screen. 

  
  


“Yes?” I ask, not taking my eyes from the screen. 

  
  


“You okay Josh?”

  
  


“Sitara… What does it mean, when you feel… light when someone touches you?”

  
  


“Touches you? How?”

  
  


“When you’re around them, and feel happy… but feel empty when someone else is around to make them happy?”

  
  


“….. Oh god no,” She shakes her head, “You have a crush……… on Wrench?”

  
  


“Crush?” 

  
  


I’ve heard the word before, I remember girls in my high school would say that they had a crush on certain boys… none were ever me, so I just ignored it… but…. I like Wrench? 

  
  


“Why would you say ‘Oh god no’? Is it a bad thing?”

  
  


“No, just… did NOT see that coming,” She shakes her head giving a chuckle, “Well… have you told him any of this?”

  
  


“No, because I didn’t know what that feeling was, but I doubt that I will,” I shrug. “He seems interested in Marcus, what is the point if he has decided?”

  
  


Sitara gives me an awkward look, but I ignore it and go back to looking at the never ending supply of code. It eases my mind from all that has happened. But yet, my mind, it goes to the feeling I had… I look at the reflection in my screen, and hope to see Wrench in it.. but no, its black. I wonder I what he’s doing? He said Marcus was almost back to the garage… 

  
  


I can’t concentrate on my work after a while, and finally I pull myself from it when I hear two pairs of feet coming down the stairs. I hear Wrench and Marcus laughing and joking with each other. It irritates me a little bit. I couldn’t make him laugh like that, and they share a lot of similar interests. Sure I’ve watched Star Wars, and I’ve seen the Predator movies… but they have a comedic intake on them. 

  
  


“Hey Josh,” Marcus comes up to me, “How’s the coding going?”

  
  


“Its good…” I answer avoiding looking at his eyes, “You know most of our followers don’t block their VPN's….”.

  
  


“Well we should let them know then, I mean it will help keep CtOS from digging deeper into their habits.”

  
  


“Yeah, I’ll make a wiki for it, show them a better way than just downloading some app… you know most people don’t really do the research on apps, they don’t see dummy corporations for who they really are.” 

  
  


“Whoa, that’s heavy… um well let them know that too,” he chuckles before walking away.

  
  


I close my eyes that feeling of sadness going away. I need to go, I need to get out of here. I close my laptop and get up wanting to walk home before it got too dark.

  
  


“You leaving J?” Horatio asks coming behind me. 

  
  


“Yeah, I should go before it gets too dark.”

“Want to ride the bus with me?” 

  
  


“….”

  
  


“Come on,” 

  
  


I like Horatio, he doesn’t treat me like a kid, and he tries to help out with my sensory issues. So once a week, he takes me on the bus, and tries to help me stay calm with all the noises… it’s gotten better. 

  
  


“Okay,” I answer him, giving a nod. 

  
  


“Sitara, Wrench, Marcus, we're out!” 

  
  


I hear collective byes and later, but I don’t hear Wrench… I look back to see Marcus sitting on the couch with Wench, watching another Siska trailer, and I sigh, walking away. Yeah, this outcome is what I figured.

+++ a week later +++

  
  


Shit, shit, shit, shit, shiiiit…. Shit! Fuck…. I refresh the page again, no, it’s no different. Dammit, I knew something like this would happen, fuck…. The last week, my mind has been somewhere else… it hasn’t been on this. Why didn’t I catch this earlier? Why just.. shit.

  
  


I get up from my desk, my heart pounding against my chest as I mumble to myself. 

  
  


“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” 

  
  


This is all my fault, I tell Sitara and Marcus everything, Horatio and Wrench hear it too, I clench when I hear Wrench shout, which makes my body tremble… this is why I shouldn’t have focused on him, I missed something important. 

  
  


Marcus leaves to head to invite headquarters, leaving me Sitara Wrench and Horatio alone.. but I don’t know how much use I can be. To him… I tell him what he needs to know, and that’s when I can’t take it anymore. I missed something so big, I messed up dedsec! I fucked everything up because I wasn’t paying attention. 

  
  


After a while, we find out so much about !nvite, and what they’ve done to Marcus…. Sitara, she’s not happy, in fact she’s beyond pissed, all because… because this means dedsec is in trouble. Our followers would go down, because people would rather believe rumors as opposed to we’ve been set up… 

  
  


When Marcus comes back, Wrench is shouting and throwing chairs, it doesn’t help anything… 

  
  


“It’s not that bad,” I say looking at him. 

  
  


The crash of the chair makes me start fidgeting, I fucked up.. I fucked this all up… 

  
  


Marcus starts talking, saying he has an idea… but at this point, I guess everyone is so exhausted they all are getting ready to go home, not me, everything is playing in my mind, if I had watched our numbers, maybe they wouldn’t be this upset… but… shit… 

  
  


“Josh, you want a ride home?” Sitara calls out to me, but I shake my head, I’m going to stay, I need to think. 

  
  


“No, I’ll go later.” 

  
  


Sitara is about to come back over to me, “It's going to get dark soon.” 

  
  


“I said I’ll go later!” I feel my heart rate grow faster. 

  
  


She gives me that mother look of worry, and sighs a bit, “Okay Josh…. Just call me as soon as you get home, okay?” 

  
  


I give a nod putting my head in my hands, “Fine, I will,” I mumble. 

  
  


I start to rock in my chair mumbling fuck so many times, the word loses meaning. It isn’t until I hear a tool box shut, I realize that I’m not alone. I turn and see Wrench standing there, his mask sitting on the table beside him. 

  
  


“You’re not the only one at fault Josh… so don’t beat yourself up about this…. I mean, I was the one who wanted to fuck with Huam 2.0 anyways, and Sitara is just blinded by a high follower count I’m sure she would have ignored this even longer,” He doesn’t face me while he’s talking… he instead lowers his head exhaling, “We all got sloppy, and you… you managed to see something we were all blind to..” 

  
  


His voice, it’s a change from the robotic one… it’s sad, quiet… it sort of soothes me, I finally turned to face him, but he still facing the wall. “I was distracted,” I look at him, “I’ve been distracted because of you.”

  
  


“Hm… me? How so?” 

  
  


“You were distracting.”

  
  


He chuckles a bit before reaching to put his mask back on. “What part of me?” His voice is immediately masked with the robotic one. 

  
  


“You, in general… I can’t focus because of some weird feeling whenever you’re around, and every since Marcus joined us, it's gotten worse.”

  
  


“Jealous” His emoji's go to the happy one. “I’m so flattered, “ He comes over to me, “So Sitara wasn’t lying… You have a little crush on me~" 

  
  


“I don’t get that word, but you have become an interest yes, but... you and Marcus have a better bond then you and I so-”

  
  


“Funny,” He chuckles, “I don’t think I was doing anything with Marcus, we just have a bromance, that’s about it,” He smiles at me. 

  
  


“Bromance?”

  
  


“Well… hmm.. how to explain…. Okay He and I are not a thing, but we have fun messing with each other in a way people think we could be,” He stops in front of me, “But Josh, let’s not start on that, why didn’t you tell me?”

  
  


“Tell you what? Look Wrench, I know what your type is-"

  
  


“Marcus apparently,”

  
  


“Ugh, well, someone like me, isn’t on that list.”

  
  


“Aaaand why not?”

  
  


Is he messing with me? I can’t tell, “I’m nothing like him, or anyone here for that matter.”

  
  


“Why? Cause you have Asperger’s? What? Am I CtoS and find problems with it?” He asks me, and I have to say I’m a little bit more confused. “You think I give a fuck? Do I treat you any different than I do the other assholes here?” 

  
  


“No,” He has a point… he doesn’t baby me, he doesn’t talk to me like I’m a kid… and he gives me all the bull I want when Sitara isn’t looking. “You don’t… but, if that’s the case… why haven’t you told me anything?”

  
  


“Well I have an excuse for that. What I can’t figure out is why didn’t you, I thought you had no filter?"

  
  


“Because I didn’t understand why I was feeling the way I do.”

  
  


“Well……………. I… had a reason, but now I forgot… Look Josh, let’s try this out okay, see where it takes us… and… how about we work harder for dedsec, alright?"

  
  


I hate when he changes the subject like this, “I don’t know what you mean.”

  
  


He comes over to me, and he lifts the bottom part of his mask, I can see his lips they are thin, and there’s a little bit of sweat at the top of them. He leans in close and before I know it, his lips are pressed against mine, the feel of it, I don’t care too much for the sweat. It feels slimy, but the action it raises so many questions in my head… I want to pull away, but I want to stay here… Is this it? What those sappy movies talk about? I don’t understand, but I want more.


End file.
